I'm not a journal-whore, I just like to post random musings and rants on occassion, so when I do, I feel it's important. I'm not going to promise something interesting to read every time, but I just feel the need to talk...well to say something anyway.

Ramblings aside, I'd like to talk about something I'm going through right now. It's taken me a lot of courage to just post this here, because this is a bit of a new experience for me. The truth is....I think I may have feelings for someone. I'm not exactly sure, considering I've never been through this before, but I've talked to some people about it, and they've confirmed some of the things I'm going through.

So yes, it's apparently not just some infatuation, it's something more, and I've apparently had these feelings for a while now, only they've started to feel a lot more...pronounced recently. I dunno, maybe it's the season or something, I have nothing to compare to. I've had maybe two or possibly three crushes during my lifetime, and that's about it.

"Psycho's in love, omg that's so awesome"? Well, I don't know about that. For one, I'm pretty sure this is one sided. I'm happy that I've gotten to experience something so profound, but I doubt it'll go any further than this. Not to sound negative, but that's the way it looks and feels anyway. Another thing is, I'm a total wuss, and don't have the balls to even confirm this for myself. There's one big thing that's even given me the courage to make this entry, and that's the fact that I had a bit of a jarring dream this afternoon concerning the matter. The dream entailed me finally getting the courage to confess my feelings to said person, buying a fancy vase full of flowers and heading over to do it. I round a corner, and find her in a deep and passionate kiss with her former boyfriend, which causes me to drop the vase, shattering it, and then waking up.

Part of me thinks it's a sign to DO SOMETHING before I miss my chance. Another part of me wants to wait...because I'm patient. I don't want to rush into a situation I'm not familiar with headfirst, regardless of how this is supposed to make me do crazy things. Part of the reason I'm freaking out is because I'm very fearful of rejection. It's probably one of the reason I haven't been in a relationship...well one of the many reasons.

That's about all I've got to say, for now at least.